Mema-Hugot Things...

I wish, I could be very honest with how I feel tonight.
Whenever I try to write about my 'dramas'... parang ang korni.

I have been very morbid about my thoughts. I do wish everyday, for no particular or very valid reason, that I could at least end my life. And yeah, di naman nangyayari hahaha. Heto nga, I am still writing about the 'shits' in my life.

1. Nakaka-miss yung mga gabing wala kang iniisip para bukas. Yung mga moment that I can still enjoy reading a book. Enjoying every word... phrase... sentence... paragraph. Every emotion and every hugot na meron sa librong binabasa mo. Ang saya lang, parang may sarili kang mundo.

2. I wish i could tell to people around me that I appreciate every smile and even small talks with them. Di naman talaga ako suplado. Nagpapakabusy lang na tao. Pero ang totoo... ayoko lang kasing ma-preoccupied ng mga thoughts ko. However, when I'm home, ayan na, nilulunod na nila ako.

3. One time, may nagtanong sa akin if 'bi' daw ba ako. I don't know what to say. Di ko alam kung dapat ba akong sumagot, hehehe. I mean, di ko nga tiyak if that person really understood the question she's trying to ask... hindi ko nga maintindihan yung buo kong sarili, tapus, isasagot ko pa sa kanya. Pa'no na?!

4. I have so many insecurities about myself. I think, do have more frustrations in life than ambitions. I always seemed to be an optimistic person to others, but that's the only way I could battle against myself being pessimistic.

5. I can definitely say that I'm living for my dreams. A very generic answer hehehe.

6. I always try to avoid having criticized by a lot of people.

7. What I need most right now... a person who can relate to all these nonsense dramas... an older person than me who is willing to share his wisdom... a person who is most likely spend a lot of time digging out the person in me.

8. I definitely love talking to random people. I feel like I am more alive kapag ganun. Kahit saglit na usap lang, I feel very connected to them. If only they will not judge me of being kulang sa pansin or walang kausap sa buhay, I would probably talk to every person I meet along the way, literally!

9. I think this world needs people who love diversity, understand uniqueness and appreciate everyone without any judgement.

10. The most beautiful thing I have seen today is his face.