We cannot be a true friend for everyone, we can only be at least good to some of them.

And I have those friends
who would most likely consider your attendance as a basis for true friendship.

And I already expected it and I'm used to seeing it
those posts in facebook saying - "Ang tunay na kaibigan hindi nag-iiwanan / naglilimutan."
(or whatever)
lagi naman ganun ang tema ng mga post after mag-meet.
(whether I am there or not)

And here I am, a type of 'friend' who is probably not present in all occasions...
but I think it should not depreciate the value of 'friendship' I have with them.

And of course, we all have the 'reasons' to justify / rationalize our thoughts and actions.
Maybe, our ideologies and philosophies (para malalim lol) didn't just meet halfway.

And so, life continues for everyone.
That's how it is. I guess.

inner battles

This too shall past.

But while it is still happening...
...I am really having a hard time.

It may not be a very big deal for others.
Or maybe I am just magnifying the little battles inside me.

Whatever it is...
...I'm hoping for all these things to end.

just an idea

I am not really familiar with the common name of the scientific names of different worms.
And so...  I think I was not able to do well in that quiz.

While I look at those blank items which I could no longer answer...
I said to myself -

"I just don't wanna study anymore... I wanted to learn."

One of the perks of being a wallflower in this world.

The first step is always the hardest.
Especially when you are trying to push yourself.

What makes me happy?
Well, today I realized that simple things can make you genuinely happy.

Naglista ako ng dalawang bagay na kailangan kong bilhin.
Usually, pag kaunti lang, di na ako mag-effort bilhin.
Pwede namang sa susunod na lang kasabay ng iba pang bilihin.
But I did make an effort to buy those things.
Napakasimple lang.
Pero wala lang.
Masaya.

It's like I was able to work out a very simple plan.
Ganun lang.

I love watching people.
I like observing how each person is different from one another.
I like realizing how different I am.
I love appreciating a person's individuality.

I like seeing myself learning from others.
I like picking up an idea, or a certain behavior that I could practice.
I love catching wisdom from their thoughts.
I am very much particular with the details.
I just love it.

One of the perks of being a wallflower in this world.

Hoping to be better.

I have been more quiet for the past few days.
Frustrations. Fatigue. Anxiety.
All are mixing up inside me.

Napaka-ironic...
Kung kailan ako mas naging tahimik.
Saka naman ako mas napapansin.

It's not that annoying.
But it feels weird.

Baka ganun na naman kasi.

Ang totoo...
I'm tired of starting over again.
I mean...
I have seen myself 'peaked' for some time,
Pagkatapus mauuwi rin naman ulit sa ibaba.
Ibig sabihin sa umpisa. Sa dati. Sa kinagawian.

That is not the type of 'change' that I want.
O baka naman tama lang yung quotes na aking nabasa.
"Ang alon ay pataas at pababa...
Gayunpaman, nakararating pa rin ito sa patutunguhan."
Do I need to accept that...
Maybe yes... may be not.

Gusto kong subukan ulit.
I really do.
But whenever I think about it,
I somehow feel annoyed,
Baka ganun na naman kasi.